How To Find A Man Series


Let’s talk about men today.

What is it that men like in women? What are they attracted to?

Here are the good news: Men love women. Women are fascinating. They are mesmerizing, mystifying, enchanting and yes, also utterly confusing. What exactly is it that makes women so interesting?

Two things: Number one is our sexuality. It’s the shape of a woman’s body, the flow of our hair, our smile, the way we walk and move our hips. If a man is attracted sexually, that’s all there is. He is probably not interested in getting to know you better, call you the next day, or start a relationship with you. Unless there is something else involved that makes him also interested in you in a romantic way.

When a man is romantically attracted to a woman he wants to do things for her. He wants to protect you, provide for you, win battles and bring home trophies. He wants to be your hero. Remember the story where Tom Sawyer tries to get Becky’s attention? He walks on his hands in front of her window and does somersaults to impress her. He wants her to admire him and acknowledge his brilliance. He wants her attention. What in Becky was it that attracted him? She was sincere, a bit shy and courageous. She was herself and did not try to please him. He felt he could really help her and protect her.

Take Jack Nickolson’s famous line in the movie As Good As It Gets: “You make me want to be a better man”. What did Helen Hunt’s character do that made him say that? What was it that made her so attractive? It was for sure not the way she dressed. She was natural and unpretentious. She was honest with him without making him wrong. She served him without trying to please him. She did not care and she showed her true colors.

Of course different men will be attracted to different qualities but what every man wants is to feel great when he is around you. Men are attracted to women who are self confident and happy with themselves. They are inspired by women who are naturally enthusiastic and friendly and who are interested in them.

Has it ever happened to you that you really fell for a man and in the process you changed the way you interacted with him? All of a sudden you became more self conscious, insecure, timid or girlish? Putting on an act does not attracted a man in a way that he wants to connect with you long-term. He may pursue you for sexual reasons, if that’s the type of man he is. Others will just stay away. They get the feeling that something isn’t right and they cannot build trust.

Note: Some men can get very seductive if they really just want to connect on the sexual level. Make sure that that is what you want also and don’t expect more from the connection.

If men are interested in women who are playful, interested, passionate and true to themselves, what does that leave you with? Isn’t it a relief to know that you don’t have to be someone you are not to be attractive? There is a lot of freedom in being who you are. Maybe it’s time to find out what it is you love and what you are passionate about? Or maybe it’s time to relax and stop worrying about finding the perfect partner and instead focus on what it is you love doing? In the process you may just attract a great man.

Quick Recap

Two Types of Attraction:


  • Body shape
  • Movement
  • Laugh
  • Shiny hair


  • Self confidence
  • Passion
  • Interest in him / in men
  • Attention, affection
  • Happiness
  • Receptivity



Want to share your ideas with me? Comment on my Facebook page, or simply write to me. I’d love to hear from you.

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And, if you’d like to work with me to discover your unique badass qualities, consider participating in a one-on-one session – for women who want to find their gift, fall in love with themselves and change the world.


Photo source: Hamed Masoumi via Flickr under a Creative Commons License




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