Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs
I have observed this many times: Whenever the topic of relationship comes up in a conversation, people change. They become quiet, lean in and get deeply interested.
While at a party some time ago I talked to one of the guests about what I do. “Seminars on relationships? That sounds interesting!” He was immediately engaged and drew a little closer. “I have two women in my life. But I think I am going to break up with one. She is too old for me and I think we want different things in life.” “Hm,” I said, “interesting.” He looked a little sad.
“The other one is really young. We are having fun but it’s really nothing long-term. We don’t have so much to talk about.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I know,” I said, “Communication is really important. It’s good to be able to talk to each other”. His whole face changed when I said that. He looked more excited and engaged. “That’s true! That’s what I like about the other woman. It’s fun to talk to her and I really enjoy her company. She makes me feel good. She is kind and gentle and at the same time smart.” He got really enthusiastic.
“Why are you breaking up with her?” I asked him, “You seem to really like her.” He thought for a moment. “Well, I don’t think we are a good match. She is at a different point in her life and I think we want different things in the future.” “You know,” I said “when you talk about her you get very excited and it seems as if you really enjoy her company. Do you really want to give that up so easily? Why not enjoy the time you have with her now. If, in the future, you really find out that you want to go different directions you can still decide then. Or, you may even be able to design a lifestyle that works for both of you.” “Hm,” he said “You think so? Maybe you are right.” He looked a bit surprised.
A few months later I ran into him again. “You won’t believe it,” he said, “But I got engaged!” “Wow,” I said, “Who is the lucky lady?” He told me that our conversation had really helped him to look at things in a different way. “I decided not to see the younger girlfriend anymore. She and I did not have much in common and I have to tell you, my other relationship is just amazing! I am so blessed.” He sounded very happy.
Most conflicts exist in our minds. We think life should be a certain way instead of paying attention to what we really want and what actually works for us. If you stay open and give in to exploring what is fun and inspiring, you may find out that it is very different from what you think it should be.
Thank you for reading,
The One: Discovering The Secrets of Soul Mate Love by Kathy Freston
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Photo Source: Death to the Stock Photo