#4 Ignoring Your Woman’s Wisdom
Women are wise, men are brilliant.
While men are masters at planning, solving problems, creating innovative systems, and developing strategies, women are wise in a whole different way: We have the ability to ‘read’ our environment.
Not only do we pick up on people’s thoughts and their intentions, we can also detect the mood of a room or the outcome of a meeting. While this sensitivity is developed to different degrees in each woman, we all have the ability to pick up on subtle clues in our surroundings.
If a woman is skilled at this, she will be able to translate her perceptions in such a way that they serve others. In a relationship or business, if a man is attentive this female skill, he can pick up on powerful information that he may overlook otherwise.
If a man does not appreciate a woman’s insights or plays them down, it is very frustrating and disappointing. Women like to be of service and we are often able to provide a fresh approach to a situation.
As for women, it’s important not to blare out whatever shows up on our ‘radar screen’ but rather organize the information and relay it in a way that enhances and serves our environment. Jumping from topic to topic without a clear message will confuse others and especially men.
Powerful men know how to listen to women and ask them for their insights: We can be the radar that will help you navigate in an effective way.
#5 Not Telling a Woman How Much You Appreciate Her
We know that men have a hard time talking about feelings and that they show their affection through action.
However, women love to hear how much you appreciate us. You probably did so when we first met. Keep it up, it does NOT get old. Here are a few good phrases you can use:
* Darling, you are looking great!
* Thank you so much for making dinner (breakfast, lunch, etc.) for me.
* I am so happy to be with you.
* You look beautiful in that new dress.
* I love it when you smile like that.
If it is hard for you to express your adoration in words, there are other simple gestures of affection that will go a long way:
*Bringing home flowers or a gift
*Remembering an anniversary or birthday
*Surprising us with breakfast in bed
*Inviting us to lunch or dinner, or, simply having coffee together.
#6 Not Recognizing a Woman’s Need for Balance and Harmony
Men are masters of pain (just watch an action movie!), women are masters of pleasure.
Women like to have fun. We laugh, talk, cheer and giggle. We also love beauty & harmony. It’s our nature and it helps us to recharge our batteries.
Men often shrug their shoulders when women insist on having the best room in a hotel, take their time with picking the perfect seat in a restaurant, and expect excellent service. Little do they know that it’s our livelihood: It makes us feel good and helps us relax. Being too serious scares us and thinking about problems is not our idea of having a good time. Not so for men. They love problems, the bigger, the better.
A smart man let’s his woman have her way in choosing the right ambiance. He knows that when she is happy, he will be happy, too.
#7 Avoiding Conflict
Have you ever had a conflict with a man and instead of dealing with it he withdrew?
When confronted with personal disagreements, men often disappear into their ‘cave’ and wait for the storm to pass. For women this can be frustrating. We solve problems by talking about them. It makes us feel better and calms us down. Men on the other hand often don’t know how to respond to a personal conflict and for fear of saying something wrong (or the risk of making a fool out of themselves) they stop communicating all together. A woman may interpret this as sign of rejection or disapproval.
If as a man you can stick with a conflict and simply listen to your partner, much will be accomplished. You don’t have to defend yourself or try to solve the problem. Just listen and let us do the talking. Most likely, all we are trying to do is get the balance back that is so vital for our well-being. Now, if saying I am sorry seems appropriate, go for it. In our book this will make you a hero.
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Photo Source: Tiago Ribeiro via Flickr under a Creative Commons License
Great topic and insights Karin. I look forward to the rest of them.