An Opportunity for Growth
One of my friends got married. After being single for more than 20 years, she got married at age 68. She was glowing and radiant with love and excitement!
“I was perfectly happy being single,” she said. “But I could tell that I was getting stuck in my ways, I wasn’t growing anymore. Now my life is much more challenging and downright painful at times. As you can you imagine, after 23 years of being on my own I have some strong beliefs and habits! This is really good for me.”
Embrace the Challenge
I was baffled. How can challenging be good? Aren’t we supposed to live happily ever after? Or at least do our best to create harmony together and avoid pain at all cost?
My friend’s words kept bugging me. What if we got it all wrong? What if high expectations and the pressure to do it right are the reason so many people struggle in their love lives?
My friend’s approach seemed to make sense. Why not enter a relationship with our eyes wide open and the understanding that we are different (which we are), that it might get painful at times (which it will), and that being with another person will challenge us beyond our comfort zone?
One of my mentors once said, relationships are the fastest way to enlightenment, which I’m beginning to understand. Our partnerships provide us with the opportunity to become more human, gracious and forgiving.
Wouldn’t it take away a lot of pressure if we knew this going in? What if happily ever after means embracing the differences, accepting the challenges, and loving the expansion a relationship can bring to our lives?
Wouldn’t it be a relief to know that
- Living with another person will make our life more complex?
- Men and women are different and that’s why misunderstandings will arise?
- We may not be born knowing how to have a great relationship, but that we can learn it?
- Pain can be a good thing if we use it to become better?
- Bliss will make us forget all the challenges?
- There’s more than one soulmate for each of us?
- Living a blissfully happy life is hard work and that that’s okay?
What is your experience? Why are you (or not) in a relationship? As always, I’d love to hear your insights and thoughts on the topic. Simply comment on my Facebook page, or write to me.
As always, thank you for reading,
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And, if you’d like to work with me to discover how
The One: Discovering the Secrets of Soul Mate Love by Kathy Freston
Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men And Women by Anne Moir and David Jessel
Men Like Women Who Like Themselves by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol
How To Succeed With Men by David Copeland and Ron Louis