Sometimes what we want is not what we need to be happy.


A few years ago a client came to me and told me that what she wanted most was a relationship. She was very successful in running her own business and somehow the romance department had been taking a back seat.

After a few sessions with me she realized that it was not the prospect of being in a relationship that excited her but the idea of taking a break from her business. She had been working in a high pressured industry for many years and was exhausted. As many of us would do in a similar situation, she was looking for relief and having a relationship seemed like a good distraction from the pressures she was experiencing.

What she didn’t realize was that not having a man in her life wasn’t causing the stress. Her business was.

Once that was out of the way we started to look for what it was she really wanted. I knew that there was something that would bring the spark back into her life and most likely it was not what she thought it was.

After probing her with a few questions I finally asked, “If you could do anything at all, regardless of your business or your life right now, what would you do?”

She took a deep breath and said “I would spend some of my time in Europe.” Bang! She looked at me with some hesitation and a lot of curiosity. Would I buy it, or would I tell her what she had been telling herself, that this was not a good idea?

“Tell me more,” I asked and it was the beginning of her new life. She started talking about what really mattered to her: Spending more time away from her business and doing some of the things she loved.

The next day she booked her ticket to Europe. She stayed for two weeks and went back four more times during that year. And, what was most astonishing to her, her business kept thriving. On one of her flights back to LA she met her present husband, a wonderful man from Europe who happens to live in Southern California.

Life goes in mysterious ways once we let it.

Action Step: To find out what it is you want (or need), pay attention to what brings you alive! Instead of looking for answers in your head, look for what lights you up. In my experience, it works every time. Your subconscious knows what you need to be happy. Trust it.

As always, thank you for reading.