Most people are stuck. Stuck in jobs they don’t like, stuck in relationships that hurt, or simply stuck in a life that does not suit their needs.

Why are we, humans, so inapt at designing and living satisfying and exciting lives? Why do we feel so obligated to fit into a system that conflicts with our nature, doing what others expect of us instead of following our hearts?

For one thing, breaking free takes courage! The courage to think for yourself and to question the system and whether it works for you. We have learned to behave and to fit in. We have been trained to think in terms of problems and solutions. We know there will be punishment if we don’t find the ‘right’ answers. In the end we rely on our logical thinking for important life questions and the sad news is, the answers to those questions cannot be found in the mind. You may try as hard as you will, you can’t think yourself into a better life.

If thinking is not going to do the job, what is? Some people offer answers. Eckhart Tolle says, “Stop thinking!” Others say that one way of connecting with your soul is through meditation. While this may work for some, it is still a fairly ineffective way to finding happiness.

Some coaching methods offer effective tools. Pay close attention to ensure that those tools are not the same linear approach in disguise. Coming up with a new life plan, a new strategy or better solutions to an old problem will not be enough to get you in touch with your soul.

The good news is, all the answers to your life are within you! In your heart you know what you need to be happy. The first step on the journey to freedom is curiosity. The curiosity of not knowing, of not having the answers, of not having to fit in.

The second step is observation. Observe yourself. Are there moments when you forget your thoughts and worries? What are you doing in those moments, what activities do you engage in when you are happy and relaxed? When are you out of your mind?