My friend’s 10 year old daughter loves posing in front of the mirror, moving her hips, doing little dance moves, tossing her hair and arms while smiling at herself in admiration. Her whole body emanates joy and pleasure and I am sitting in awe, watching her.
I catch myself wondering how long she will keep her lighthearted innocence alive. How long until she wishes her body was different, not as curvy, feminine and round?
I don’t remember how I fell out of love with myself but I certainly did. Maybe it was the comments my mother made, that I was big for my age, that I had a waist while most kids did not?
Or the snickering, adolescent boys in school climbing the stairs behind me, whispering something about my ‘big butt’? Some things seemed to be wrong with me and I did not like it. I wanted to be like the other girls, skinny, boyish, and cool!
Later I found out that I was not the only one. Today I find it heart breaking to see how many women are hard on themselves, not liking who they are very much at all. How is that possible? Just like my friend’s daughter we are all so beautiful, vibrant and made to have fun.
For me, loving myself again started with loving and accepting my body first. Funny enough I did this by becoming a fashion consultant. While helping others to see their own beauty, I discovered mine. It was a somewhat shocking and surprising experience (there was actually nothing wrong with me), and my first step in finding out who I really was.
How about you? How can you fall in love with yourself again and alter the way you perceive yourself? Here are a few things that have helped me on the way and maybe they can make a difference for you, too:
- You probably are our own worst critic. To change the picture you have of yourself, ask a few of your truly best friends for feedback: What do they love about you? What are your strengths? How do you contribute to their lives? Make sure these friends have your best interest at heart. Really listen and take it in.
- Pay attention to positive feedback in your life. Accept acknowledgment, soak it in, dwell in it. Stay away from negative people, their feedback and criticism. Personally, I tune it out.
- Next time you go shopping, take a friend that has a great sense of style and loves shopping with you. Be courageous. Try out new looks, colors, even things you don’t think look good on you. Just explore and
see what happens. - Listen to your body. Women are made for pleasure. Unfortunately most of us are out of touch with what we need. We push and go the extra mile and often lose our aliveness doing it. When you are pressured, you lose your natural wisdom. You forget what is good for you and what isn’t. So listen to your body. Take breaks when you are exhausted, take a hot bath to relax, dance, move, sleep. Everything else can wait. Don’t worry, your life will still be there when you return.
I wish you a wonderful time exploring your beauty, fun and wisdom. Let me know what you find out.
As always, thank you for reading,
Karin
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