Of all human emotions, anger is perhaps the single most destructive one.
Anger motivates us to harm others and to inflict pain. It clouds our perception of unity and it alienates us from the very people we love. By giving in to anger we lose touch not only with the ones close to us but also with ourselves and our life’s purpose.
Our natural state is one of balance and harmony. Feeling good and keeping our natural rhythm is what we constantly strive for. It is when that inner balance is disturbed, that we get angry.
As human beings we will always have emotions, they are part of the human condition. The question is how to deal with them in the best possible way? How can we navigate through life without losing our internal balance?
Below are five ways that I have found to be effective when dealing with frustrations, especially anger:
Know yourself. When dealing with emotional upsets it’s crucial to know yourself and your needs. Your inner balance is different from that of other people. This is especially important in relationships. Some people are more patient and good-natured than others while some have a very short fuse. Be clear about the things you need to stay relaxed and happy.
Take responsibility. The best way of dealing with anger is by not letting it happen in the first place. Stay alert to your environment and watch out for possible interference. Politely but firmly end a conversation that goes on for too long or
Rest. Somebody got to you and you lost your calm? Chill. Get away, take a break. Venting anger does not help. It only fuels the irritation and makes it grow. Talking about it doesn’t work either. When you are angry, so is your judgment and you won’t be able to solve a conflict until you can see things clearly. If you have to talk about the situation, wait until you calmed down.
Shift your attention. Distracting yourself from the upset really works. Focus on something that is fun like working on your business, watching a movie, taking a nap, talking to a friend, or exercising. You will be surprised how fast your mood improves once you get physically active.
Find out what helps you in regaining your calm and act upon it. I know this takes real discipline especially when all you want is to strike back. In the long run, however, it’s much more effective.
Make peace. In my experience, most arguments or conflicts are nobody’s fault. They happen and when they are over, it’s time to make up. Telling the other person that you are sorry and that you appreciate them won’t hurt. Be courageous and get close to the people you love. If a fight can’t be avoided, fight fair.
These are the strategies that I’ve found helpful when dealing with anger. What’s your experience? How do you cope with irritations and upsets? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.
As always, thank you for reading,
Karin
