Some women have the magic touch when it comes to exquisite, intimate and spell-binding relationships.
Love, it seems comes easy to them. They are happy in their own skin, men adore them and their life is a superb adventure.
Are you one of them?
I know I wasn’t for a very long time. After a failed marriage and not much luck in the romance department I realized that I didn’t have what it takes to make love work – from finding Mr. Right to keeping him. Something was missing and I didn’t know what it was.
So, I did what I do when I am at a loss. I studied, I read books, I attended seminars and found mentors, I learned from women who knew and I started to teach others what I had found.
I also put my discoveries to the test. I made mistakes (many), I failed (more often than I want to admit), I got my heart broken, I hurt, I wanted to give up (countless times) – but I never did. I had an unshakable conviction that I could have it all: Sweet intimacy, deep friendship, trust, instant understanding, ravishing sex, transcendent adventures and soul mate love.
To my delight and utter surprise, things did improve. Times of harmony and joy began to outlast those of conflict and misunderstanding. Mistakes and break-downs became few and far between. Intimacy deepened and love expanded. I was ecstatic.
Today, I know that every woman can, and deserves to have that kind of relationship. It takes an understanding of the subtle differences between men and women and the ways we communicate and mis-communicate. Habits and expectations can mislead us and you need discipline and courage to put it all together in a way that works.
Below, I am sharing five of the secrets that I have found to be essential in turning a relationship into a sublime experience. Let me know what you think. Do you agree or disagree with me? I’d love to find out.
1. His Problems Are Not Your Problems.
Did you ever notice that men love tinkering and solving problems? Give them a challenge and they get right to work. It’s what guys do. One thing men don’t like, however, is you getting involved. How many times have you tried to help him, offered your well meaning advice and told him what to do?
My tip: Stay out of it. Don’t think for him, let him make his mistakes and stop dabbling in his matters. If he wants your advice, he’ll ask. Otherwise, he’ll resent you for not believing in his brilliance.
2. You Can’t Change Him.
I see women get furious, aggravated, devastated, enraged and utterly frustrated about the fact that men are … men.
Shouldn’t they be different? Act in more considerate ways, apologize when they are in the wrong, say that they love you, pay more attention to your needs, call when they are late, pick up after themselves, comfort you when you are distressed, understand where you are coming from and listen to you?
Yes, maybe they should … but on this planet they won’t. The sooner you accept this, the happier your life and your relationship will be. Your man loves to be your hero. He wants to be adored, admired and most of all, appreciated. Yet, if you keep telling him what he’s doing wrong you will never be his friend.
3. The Art of Storytelling.
Women are natural born story tellers. We like to share our experiences and life’s dramas with each other and we find release and pleasure in being in the company of other women.
In your relationship, this innate skill of communicating your desires through stories is very powerful. Since men don’t like to be told what to do you can use your ability to share with him what moves and what touches you. If you paint for him with words what it is you desire, he will want to climb the highest mountain and get the stars for you.
4. Mood Control
Some women have a hard time keeping their emotions under control. While this may be due to all kinds of influences it isn’t healthy for you or for your relationship to be at the mercy of your moods.
Engage in activities that bring you joy, have a healthy diet, exercise, stay in touch with your friends and pursue a job that fulfills you to keep your life well balanced. In my experience, many women don’t take the time to recharge their batteries and as a result are easily overwhelmed and irritated. Find out what it is you need to keep your calm and put it into action for a happier life and relationship.
5. Have Your Own Life
It can be tempting to give up your own interests in order to spend more time with your partner. In the long run, however, it’s important to have your own life and to do the things that make you happy inside as well as outside of your relationship.
Learn to put yourself first, be active, be interested, nurture your friendships, engage in activities that inspire you and do the things you like. This will keep your self esteem and your confidence strong and make you feel good about yourself.
As always, thank you for reading.
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Photo Source: Margarit Ralev via stock.xchng