Some women have the magic touch when it comes to exquisite, intimate, and spell-binding relationships.

Love, it seems, comes easy to them. They are happy in their own skin, men adore them, and their life is an exquisite adventure.

Are you one of them?

I know I wasn’t for a very long time. After a failed marriage and not much luck in the romance department, I realized that I didn’t have what it takes to make love work – from finding Mr. Right to keeping him. Something was missing and I didn’t know what it was.

So, I did what I do when I am at a loss. I studied. I read books. I attended seminars and found mentors, I learned from women who know, and I started to teach others what I found.

I also put my discoveries to the test: I made mistakes (many), I failed (more often than I want to admit), I got my heart broken, I hurt, I wanted to give up (countless times) – but I never did. I possessed the unshakable conviction that in love, we can have it all: sweet intimacy, deep friendship, trust, instant understanding, ravishing sex, transcendent adventures, and soul mate love.

To my delight – and utter surprise – things did improve. Times of harmony and joy began to outlast those of conflict and misunderstandings. Mistakes and break-downs became few and far between. Intimacy deepened and love expanded.

I was ecstatic.

Today, I know that every woman can, and deserves to have that kind of relationship. It takes discipline and courage to make intimacy work, but if you learn to understand the subtle differences between men and women and the ways we understand – and misunderstand – each other, you are on the right path.

Five Secrets That Will Make Your Relationship Extraordinary:

 

1. His Problems Are Not Your Problems.

Did you ever notice that men love tinkering and solving problems? Give them a challenge and they get right to work. It’s what guys do. One thing men don’t like is you getting involved. How many times have you tried to help him, offered your well meaning advice, and told him what to do?

My tip: Stay out of it. Don’t think for him. Let him make his mistakes and stop dabbling in his affairs. If he wants your advice, he’ll ask. Otherwise, he might resent you for not believing in his brilliance.

 

2. You Can’t Change Him.

I see women get furious, aggravated, devastated, enraged, and utterly frustrated about the fact that men are … men.

Shouldn’t they be different? Shouldn’t they act in more considerate ways and apologize when they are in the wrong, say that they love you, pay more attention to your needs, call when they are late, pick up after themselves, comfort you when you are distressed, understand you, and listen to you?

Yes, maybe they should … but on this planet it’s not going to happen. The sooner you accept this, the happier your life and your relationship will be. Your man loves to be your hero. He wants to be adored, admired and most of all, appreciated. Yet, if you keep telling him what he’s doing wrong you will never be his friend.

 

3. The Art of Storytelling.

Women are natural born story tellers. We like to share our experiences and life’s dramas with each other, and we find release and pleasure in being in the company of other women.

In your relationship, this natural skill of communicating your desires through stories is very powerful. Since your man doesn’t like to be told what to do, use your ability to share with him what moves and what touches you. If you share your desires through stories, he will want to climb the highest mountain and get the stars for you.

 

4. Mood Control

Some women have a hard time keeping their emotions under control. While this might be due to various influences it isn’t healthy for you – or for your relationship – to give in to your moods.

To keep your life well balanced, engage in activities that bring you joy. Have a healthy diet, exercise, stay in touch with your friends, and pursue a job that satisfies you. As women, we don’t take enough time to recharge our batteries and as a result we are easily overwhelmed and irritated. Find and integrate the elements that bring you joy so you can live a happier life and have a more fulfilling relationship.

 

5. Have Your Own Life

It can be tempting to give up your own interests in order to spend more time with your partner. In the long run, it is important to have your own life and to do the things that make you happy – inside and outside of your relationship.

Learn to put yourself first. Be active, have interests, nurture your friendships, engage in activities that inspire you, and pursue your passions. This will  give you confidence and boost your self esteem.

As always, thank you for reading.

Karin

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Photo Source: Luke Chesser via Unsplash