Mistake #1: Not Having Weaknesses
When I ask men what mistakes they make in their relationships with women they either tell me that they don’t make any, or, that their weakness is to always do the right thing.
Hm … Let’s find out what women think. In the next few days I will list the 10 most common mistakes men make, from a woman’s perspective.
Please chime in and let me know what your experience is. Of course no man or woman is alike and what you experience in one relationship may be different in your next. But still … there are some patterns.
Let’s get going with mistake #1:
Men Have No Weaknesses. When you ask a man whether he is scared, nervous, tired or angry, the answer is most likely a resounding ‘NO’. Men are never scared, they don’t make mistakes and they certainly need no help.
To women this is confusing if not slightly unsettling. We like to nurture and we like to make people feel better. When we have problems or are concerned about something, we talk about it. So, when men always feel groovy and never need any support, it’s a bit strange.
On a more subtle level it also creates mistrust. To women it’s hard to believe that men are never cold, never angry and always have all the answers. It seems that men are not telling what’s really going on and this creates unease and suspicion, which often leads women to inquire more, trying to get to some common ground. Can you see the dilemma? Women keep persisting until men feel interrogated and pull away. In most cases, not a happy ending.
I know it’s hard for men to talk about weaknesses (“What weaknesses?”) but if you admit every once in a while that you are tired, fed up or want to be left alone, it will give us a sense of connection and it will build trust and create an intimacy you may have never experienced.
Give it a try and let me know what happens.
Tomorrow, I’ll talk about Mistake #2: Being Too Nice.
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Photo Source: Jon Aslund via Flickr under a Creative Commons License